Jason Harley's Corner of the Web

The Inter-island Ferry provided me with the best way to transverse the Cook Strait and head to the South Island. The journey took 3.5 hours and passes through glorious scenery as penguins, seals and sea birds join the ferry from all sides. Picton is the small port town at the north of the south island and with a population of 4,500 it really is just a place that people visit while waiting for ferries across to the North Island. I decided to stay the night and explore the Sea Horse Aquarium and chill in a local hostel.

Still by my lonesome, Zoe and her parents continue to explore the South Island in record time as I am updated on their progress regularly by TXT message, however my travelling has taken on a much slower and relaxing pace so I organise a train to Kiakoura and some whale watching.

Whales

Kaikoura is known as the place where the mountains meet the sea, and without argument it does just that. The snow capped mountains form the view from my hostel one way and the sea the other. Whale watching is the main tourist attraction, but it used to be quite different (especially for the whales). Once a whaling station, the whalers decided that rather than chase the whales they could wait here for them to float past on migration every year and kill them for their oils. This resulted in almost extinction for the whales. However, once banned fishermen were astounded by the interest of tourists in asking for boat rides to see the whales and 'do not worry about the fishing'. Thus this is now one of the most beautiful places to see the Sperm Whale.

An early start for me and seeing 2 whales in somewhat choppy waters, but the tail shot (the one everyone wants) comes to those who dare, so despite avoiding the sea sick fellow passengers I got a few magical pictures. More can be found on www.whalewatch.co.nz

Whether she was missing me, or her parents had got too much for one person to handle, Zoe made headway to meet me at Kaikoura, as her attempts earlier in the week to see whales had been abandoned due to poor weather so they wanted to catch up with me and try again in the morning.

I re-joined the camper van (after my 7 days on the run), the in-laws and the blonde one as we made our way to the largest of the cities in the South Island - that of Christchurch - a delightful place with full English feel, a river Avon with punts, and street names like Oxford Terrace, Cambridge Place... we could be back in England (except the weather is quite nice!). However the main reason for being here is for Bob and Jan to leave us alone... sorry... to fly back to England on the 17th so we needed to get to Christchurch early to make sure they get a good seat!

Christchurch to Dunedin 18th - 24th November 2004

With the in-laws gone (just in time for the fantastic news of Zoe's brother become the father of a baby girl), myself and Auntie Zoe headed for a French Settlement called Akaroa in our hire car which we'd received in exchange for the camper-van.

Apparently the French landed in Akaroa way before the British, liked it, decided to go home and get more people to start a 'new France', came back only to find that days earlier the British had signed the treaty of Waitangi (effectively handing over all the land to Queen Victoria). New Zealand could have been so easily French! That lucky escape for New Zealand not only means that every other town and street is named after an English one but we had a nice place to send our relatives in the late 1800s. The French settlers, not being over keen on the idea of a 5 month boat trip back home, stayed and this small French feeling village is what remains.

Mountains and Storms

Mount Cook on the other hand is wholesomely British named after Captain Cook it is the highest mountain in this corner of the empire! We traveled the 6 hours through stunning countryside to the base camp (pop.100) and set out our stall to explore the glaciers in the morning via boat. The mountains are covered in snow all year long and Sir Edmund Hillary practiced on Mount Cook before attempting Everest.

An overnight storm filled the hostel with fear and our rental car with water, all trips were cancelled for safety reasons and we made a move to Oamaru on the coast, 4 hours away. Now call me picky, but that's a 10 hour round trip for not a lot more than a brief look at the largest mountain in New Zealand. New Zealand is altogether a bit like that - it's so big that you travel miles and miles not seeing anyone else, only to arrive at a point of interest to find it closed or weather bound. Not that this is always the end, there is usually another interesting museum, mountain or natural event less than 8 hours drive away.

Victorain Britain and Rare Penguins

Neither of us noticed the time warp we entered on the route from Mount Cook to Oamaru but it must have been there as when we arrived our car parking plans were disrupted by men in Victorian costume racing Penny Farthings up the high street.

Apparently once a year the Oamaru residents celebrate their British roots by dressing up in Grand-dads old clothes and turning the town into something out of the late 1800s. Not wishing to be identified as British, in fear we may be asked to join in with some chimney sweeping or cannon firing we hid in the hostel. However we need not have worried the expected 'Oliver Twist' and 'My Fair Lady' songs were not sung while women and children in frills and bow hats danced up the street. Relief.

We decided to do what today's British tourist does best when not joining in with local customs and that was to pay for the privilege of seeing something endangered. The Yellow Eyed Penguin is amongst the rarest in the world and our short tour took us to the colony of 6 breeding pairs to see them sitting on their newly hatched chicks - all within 3-4 meters. The evening was taken up with a 'LIVE PENGUIN SHOW' as over 100 blue penguins (not as rare but the smallest in the world) returns to their nests which they have conveniently built right in front of a huge seated stand filled nightly with paying tourists (never mind the smallest - these could be the richest penguins in the world). The whole returning of the penguin thing is a daily affair as they leave for their fishing trips at 4am returning at dusk (9pm) in their numbers. If you want to see more, including a live webcam in a penguins home then click www.penguins.co.nz

Quite disappointingly we could have saved ourselves the $15 at the night time show as the blue penguins will also nest anywhere away from the 250 seated stand and walking through the town, you are more likely to see a couple of penguins crossing the road as a family cat. Once we'd consumed a few beers at the local (english) pub, this event takes on a whole different perspective. Drunk on beer and fresh air imagine having your route home blocked by half a dozen 1ft high blue penguins with attitude. The whole place is mad - Victorian dressing up in the day and penguins trying to hump your leg at night - we left the next morning.

Dunedin

Dunedin, is like Edinburgh, and that's not a poor comparison by me, it is supposed to be like Edinburgh... exactly like Edinburgh. Robbert Burns statues, Scottish Churches, streets, houses and shops - the place was born from the early scottish settlers who felt they needed to be reminded of home and a good job they have done although this place is a wee bit quieter. A splendid Sir Edmund Hillary exhibition kept us out the wind and cold for a few hours.

EARTHQUAKE!! - 9.26am 23rd November 2004

We have just felt our 1st earthquake - news reports it was 7.3 on the scale (the biggest in NZ since 1931 when Napier was flatened with the loss of 250 lives) however the epicentre was 250km off the coast of the South Island so no damage has been reported on land - we experienced a few rattling doors, windows and lampshades. New Zealand experineces 4 earthquakes a week but most are minor and cause no damage. This one was their biggest for a long time and if the centre had been 'on land' we may have been in a disaster area. The radio stations are repeating the survival procedures (in a light hearted way) every hour in case a BIG ONE is following in the next few days but as far as we can tell, life goes on as normal and it's a risk the New Zealanders live with every day.

To calm my nerves I headed for a brewery tour of www.speight.co.nz and sampled a few of the local beers on offer, before we moved on to the Otago penisular the next morning for a bit of wildlife. More penguin spotting and the only mainland albatross colony in the world www.albatross.org.nz/ and the 3m wing span cruises on the wind above your head to distinguish these from another big seagull. The hostels can be very inventive in their sleeping arrangments and our bed was in a converted old bus with the lake behind us and the moonlight coming through the sky light.

As low as you can go!

46 degrees, 40 minutes, 40 seconds is the lowest mainland point on mainland New Zealand, in an area of natural beauty called the Catlins. Essentially farming land in holds several secrets in the form of waterfalls, fossil forests and wildlife. Heading slightly north we based ourselves in the World's most southern YHA, which is luckily in NZs most southern town of Invercargill, once described by Lonely Planet as a place of 'Checked Shirts and Bad Hair Cuts' - and after a few hours here - that description seems fair enough! A christmas parade with a decidedly Scottish theme, got the locals and the sunshine out in force and we planned our escape route before either of us needed a haircut.

Fiordland National Park, 28th November- 2nd December 2004

This area of New Zealand is without doubt some of the most beautiful landscape in the world. Stopping at Te Anau for a few nights we fought through the snow and moved onto Milford Sounds which is New Zealand's top tourist attraction. The place is truly spectacular but with only one round in and out of the National Park, the 50 daily buses of tourists makes it a victim of its own success. The 2 hour boat journey is the best way to see the Milford Sounds and bottle-nosed dolphins, seals and penguins, together with waterfalls, mountains and stunning scenery it provides picture postcards in every direction.

Queenstown and Wanaka, 2nd - 10th December 2004

Queenstown claims to be the Extreme Sports capital of the world and where lots of crazy stuff was invented. We based ourselves at the Deco Backpackers www.decopackpackers.co.nz, which has been the friendliest place we've stayed so far. Both Tony and Julie gave us loads of advice and help and before we knew it we were headed for our first extreme sport adventure.

Click here and check this out - Serious Fun River Surfing is death on a body board. We'd both expected an exciting float down the river but within the first 10 minutes and 2 near drowning experiences we knew this was going to be an adrenaline pumping fight to survive. The white water is a grade 3-4 (which means its closer to Niagara falls than the calm sea) and the course is 6km long. They tell you 320 tonnes of water pass into the rapids per second and you cannot fight it, but the instructors shout directions to help you avoid the rocks that you speed towards you. They have a 100% safety record which both me and Zoe tried to break but exhausted, full of cramp, aches and pains we finally made it to the end .... and then they drive you back to the start and do it all again. Zoe opted out, gifted by the insight that this is a dangerous sport... me, well, value for money took over and I headed back in even managing a very impressive barrel role - not intentionally of course!

We settled for a more relaxing luge ride at the top of the Queenstown 'Skyline' the next day but decided that we could not leave Queenstown without doing a Bungy jump - the place where it was invented.

Have a look at the website of A J Hackett who invented the modern bunjy jump. We had the choice of 3 local jumps and opted for the highest one in New Zealand the 134 meter Nevis High Wire. Suspended over a deep valley, you jump from a cable car at speeds of 128km/hr and free fall for 8 seconds before rebounding towards the sky to hang like a toy on a piece of elastic until they winch you up to relative safety. Being a tall man of 90Kgs, I had to go first of 13 jumpers. Harness on, legs strapped to the rope, I shuffled to the ledge not daring to look down, a top tip is to look up and out to the horizon but it's hard not to sneak a look down primarily as the floor of the cable car is glass!. 5..4..3..2..1..BUNGEEEEE! I'm not sure I waited for the B of Bungee but as I shot to the ground, the first 2 seconds is the stomach wrench of falling, the next 2 seconds is the shock of the floor coming up to meet you, the next 2 seconds is the panic that you cannot feel the bungy cord tightening, and the final 2 seconds is the pure relief that tension around your ankles means everything is working as it was designed to do.The excitement had been all too much for both of us so we have headed for Wanaka, mountain biking and chilling.

Glaciers and Comedy 11th - 17th December 2004

After our few days chilling, we headed to Franz Joseph to chill in a different way by attempting Glacier Walking! The glacier here is one of the worlds quickest moving glaciers at about 2 meters a day and after negotiating the steps onto the first part, you can hear and see the ice move around you. It's the steepest glacier guided tour in the world and it's hard work to climb even with the Ice Talons that they strap to your feet. The views are stunning and feeling of walking on a glacier millions of years old has been one of the highlights of this part of the trip. It is really an experience of a life time. Glacier experience website.

A night in Arthur's pass (oh er missus!), we returned to Christchurch to await our flight to sunny Australia. Staying in the Polytechnic Student accommodation to save a few $ we had planned to do nothing but Zoe saw a comedy show poster in a window and I couldn't resist the smell of the grease paint.

The Dux de Lux (the venue) is one of those hidden treasures in Christchurch - a mixture of Art Cafes, bars and restaurants, everyone seems to know its there but unless you do you'll never find it. The barman Matt, got me on the bill for that evening show and we turned up at 8pm. Although billed as comedy the night was a mix of street performers, comedians and specialty acts. The compare (Nathan Mulletman) and one of the acts Dave (Ladderman) had been the street entertainment in Oamaru at the Victorian Fate and they had been excellent so the audience were in for a good night and a bargain at only $2 entrance. It started with crystal ball balancing and bar flare skills and other acts included a Hula Hoop girl, slapstick comedy, Stickboy sticking needles and glass in himself and Shay Horay on a pogo stick with a plastic glove (don't ask but all very good and funny).

Being the only straight stand up (can't juggle and haven't got a uni-cycle), I didn't know what to expect from the audience but it went really well. I did just short of 15 minutes and mixed up my usual set with some local observational gags I'd written through the day. I enjoyed every second of it. The other performers made both myself and Zoe feel really welcome - I got a few free beers and they even paid me although I was happy to do it for free. So a big thanks to Matt, Dave, Shay, Stickboy and especially the MC Nathan, who taught us the meaning of "Sprooking" - we will forever be in you debt.

So we leave New Zealand and move onto Australia, with it's sun, sand and sea. More comedy and travel adventures await.